Speak Norn Iron
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When travelling around NI you'll need supplies. Below is a Supplies
List which you'll need to print out and keep, should you ever be brave
enough to go for a wee trip.

Supplies List

Buttered White bread (for crisps)
Crisps , Tayto Cheese & Onion are best
Small bottles filled with Quosh or similar diluted Orange drink
Jaffa Cakes (high in Jaffa energy)
An Apple (not to eat, but to trade with locals)
A cassette with Cyndi Lauper and old Cher songs (for entertainment)
All items are to be contained in a suitable plastic "offies" carrier
bag and one bag per person travelling. You'll only need one cassette, for the car.

NB* If you intend to stay out over night, include Chicken + Mushroom
Pot Noodles, a Mars bar and Kendal Mint Cake.

Wise Words From The Author

I have had some experience with trying to get to Northern Ireland. I obviously completed my trip, which is why I'm in Northern Ireland.

Most folk from across the globe have never heard of it never mind them
knowing where it is.

Just tell them "It's just left of the Isle of Man mate, you can't miss
it, like." and you'll be sorted.

Our pilot happened to be Bulgarian ( I'm not one to take the mickey out
of people's culture you understand) and was obviously drunk on a fine
Bulgarian beer called "Zegorka".

Lost is not a word I would use, no...it is a word I would use. Lost.

In all fairness to him, he did eventually get us near home, but we were
about 100 miles out (Dublin Airport) and had to be bused back to

Every time I leave the country I carry a map of the world, just in case.





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To use this site, a sense of humour is needed. If you feel you do not have a sense of humour, then you might be able to download one here. Results not guaranteed. All pictures are property of their respective owners, except all original pictures which are owned by me. All text is property of Speak Norn Iron and may NOT be reproduced, in whole or in part, without prior written consent. Remember this site is just a laugh. It's meant to be fun. And please keep all old fashioned and bigoted remarks to yourself. Please do not e-mail me with "oh, I can't believe you left "craic" out of your dictionary, how could you?" Craic is not in the dictionary as you'll find it on any page relating to NI. I'm trying to be original here ya know! Stop reading this wee bit 'o' crap and go buy a T-Shirt. Phone the radio stations, phone the papers, tell everyone!